I can’t get over how many movies I have seen thru Redbox that were released in 2021. It has
been a really lean eighteen months of movie releases, but the direct to DVD release is booming.
But let’s all remember quantity of releases has nothing to do with quality of what’s being
released
I was drawn to today’s movie because Anthony Hopkins has a major part. What a career of
great movies, “A Bridge Too Far”, “Elephant Man”, “Silence of the Lambs” etc. etc. and I loved
“The Two Popes” so I figure it’s got to be worth fifty-five cents (I had a $1.25 coupon code
thank you!)
Our movie tells the story of a professional assassin who accepts an assignment to kill someone
but isn’t told who it is. He is contacted by his boss, Anthony Hopkins, who gives him a piece of
paper with a time, place and “White Rivers” written on it.
There are quite a few things that bug me about this movie, but one of the major points is NO
ONE HAS A NAME!! One hour and fifty minutes and the main hit man is never called by name
he is “Virtuoso” Anthony Hopkins is “The Mentor” And the first ten or fifteen minutes is all
narration by the Virtuoso proclaiming his skill set as master killer—Keep a low profile, send a
message written in blood (WHAT)????? Perfection demands precision. Leave no trace of
yourself, you are a shadow. And finally, the icing on the cake “a professional is an expert in
timing and precision. An expert in precision is a (wait for it) VIRTUOSO of course!! Also, never
use the USPS, always use a post office box thru an independent company. HELLO, I’m no
virtuoso, but even I know using the USPS is never a good bet for something important being
sent.
Blah, blah, blah stop speaking already we get it, you are a Virtuoso. But, maybe not so much
because there is collateral damage at his most recent rush job. He hates rush jobs, how do you
know this, because thru even more narration, he goes on and on how much he hates rush jobs.
And his has killer regret…. what kind of killing machine Virtuoso has killer regret? This is when
Anthony Hopkins “The Mentor” gets to go on and on about his killing days as a young man
working with the Virtuoso’s father. Words of wisdom from The Mentor to The Virtuoso,
“collateral damage happens, you know that” and “we are human, homicidal killing machines”
So, the Mentor wants to get the Virtuoso back in the assassin saddle, and gives him the cryptic
order of “White Rivers” 5:00pm and Rosie’s, and tells him this is a special one, one that he
cannot refuse. We are told in his earlier long and winding narrative, the more important job,
the less solid information will be available, so he knows his target is a VIP of sorts.
Somehow he figures out Rosie’s is a country diner in the sticks (and no it’s not in the town of
White Rivers” and he arrives at 5pm. But the suspect pickings are sparse, and he can’t decide
who is the target.
So, before the night is over, the Virtuoso takes out just about everyone, which I don’t think is
very professional or in “keeping a low profile” or very “precise”
Another major problem with this movie, is the casting of Anson Mount, as the Virtuoso. Not
believable AT ALL, totally wrong for the part he has no presence in his part or on screen. I get it
he’s a big-time assassin he is suppose to fade away in memory. But this is a movie, and he’s the
lead and title character and he is just BLAH!
In the ten minutes Anthony Hopkins is on screen, he’s acting, he’s a presence. Though I have
no idea why they show multiple scenes of him cleaning his guns and waiting pensively. Yes, at
the end you figure out why, but it’s overdone. It’s like we the director says, damn we are short
three minutes!! Just add in more Hopkins cleaning the guns and looking out into the rain.
One of my top five pet peeves, its continuity on screen, that is someone’s job in the credits. So,
the Virtuoso doesn’t send the waitress home from his hotel because of the heavy snow falling
(when did that start?) But he leaves shortly after, and the massive snow is gone, and there is
not a snowflake to be found on the ground. This is important, because it brings the whole
storyline to the end.
Don’t even get me started about the dog in the woods. When would a dog like that, a squeaky-
clean white dog be a stray in the woods? Gosh, now that I’m putting this together, I think I’m
more disappointed than I thought. And “White River’s”!!! still waiting on what that means.
This is such a predictable movie, as soon as you meet the female character you know the
ending. And the ending…..and you called yourself a Virtuoso? Such an amateur.
“The Virtuoso” is rated D, I’m glad I had a coupon code, but I’m also sad I used a good code on
this dull, bland, uninspired and forgettable movie.
I never thought anything would match “Skyscrapers” D rating, but we have found it.
Drink anything to forget, it’s extremely easy to forget this mess.
