I have been yearning for a real science fiction movie, spaceships, aliens the whole package and
it seems 2020 and 2021 were lean years for that genre.
Looking over the cast of this movie, I noticed Colin Farrell, and I thought if nothing else he
would be worth the $1.80 rental fee. And after spending one hour and forty-eight minutes, I
found I was correct in my thinking, thank goodness Colin was in this movie, or else I would have
hit the eject button before the Voyagers even started the voyage.
The premise of this movie is it’s 2063, the Earth is doomed by climate change and pollution, the
human race is destined for extinction if another home planet, a new Earth, cannot be found. A
planet, with just the right oxygen levels, fresh water and land mass has been found but it will
take a spaceship 86 years to get to the planet. The crew that leaves on the colonization ship
will die before reaching the planet, but their children and then their grandchildren will
eventually make it to the new Earth.
Soon the government is cloning thirty babies, created by DNA of the most intelligent and
physically fit people in the world. The babies were created, birthed and have lived in total
isolation from the outside world. This was deemed best for the children’s mental health; they
won’t miss anything while being decades aboard the spaceship because they have never
experienced anything other than life in isolation.
Richard Alling (Colin Farrell) is the only outside person they know; you see him enter their
isolation pod with a hazmat suit on. Richard’s task is to train the children to be future
engineers, doctors, physics etc. all the skills needed to maintain the ship for its journey.
Richard has obviously grown attached to the children, and points out if he accompanies the
children, they would be able to embark on their journey four years earlier. This is a point I
don’t understand, these kids are five or six years old, so they were going to send them in space
by themselves when they were 12-13? But now they are going to send a single man into space
with thirty eight- or nine-year-olds? I’m sure there was other adults who would agree to go.
And it’s 2063 there wasn’t an android or AI that could accompany the ship?
Flash forward ten years, and everyone is in their late teens and obediently working their
assigned jobs, overseen and mentored by Richard. For a man with thirty kids, he hasn’t aged a
day.
Christopher brings to Richard’s attention that there is a toxin in the wastewater that waters the
hydroponic greenhouse. Richard tells him not to worry, just change the filter. Christopher
presses the fact that the water may be toxic to the crew, that they maybe poisoning
themselves. Richard tells him not to worry, that toxins in plants will not transfer over to humans. The problem with this bogus answer is Christopher was cloned to be smart and knows
a lie when he hears it. He hacks into files that the crew doesn’t have access to and discovers
the crew has been drinking spiked vitamin water since takeoff. The “Blue” water contains an
enzyme that dulls the personality and makes a person docile and decreases pleasure sensors.
Christopher and Zac decide to stop drinking the “Blue” and very soon the hormones are raging.
Zac becomes sexually aggressive towards several female crew members, but targets Sela, the
acting doctor.
Richard discovers the truth and tries to rationalize why the crew has been drinking “Blue” for
the past ten years. The population of the ship needs to be maintained to conserve food and
fuel, so the next generations will be borne by artificial insemination only, thus the need for the
drug. This does make sense, but not to hormone raging teenagers.
Soon there is a mysterious accident (who didn’t see that coming) and Richard is out of the
picture. Soon, the ship becomes a combination of “Spring Break in Space” “Mutiny on the
Bounty” and “Lord of the Flies”
The whole idea of sending thirty kids into space to save the planet is stupid, these kids have no
survival skills, and the movie shows how gullible and unprepared they are for real world
experiences. Having book smarts without adaptability is not going to get you eighty-six years in
the future.
Don’t even get me started on the final fight scene in the airlock, I mean it is science fiction, but
try to make it a tiny bit believable.
And can they keep recycling wastewater to feed plants for almost ninety years? How many
filters did they pack? Let’s talk food, that’s a lot of food, even if it’s just little squares and pills
of God knows what. And diapers for two complete generations. I know I am thinking too
much, but the premise is just BAD.
Voyagers is rated D+, the + is for the casting of Colin Farrell, whom I hope got on his money up
front because this DVD is destined for the bargain bin at your local Dollar General.
As for a beverage, drink something that will get you buzzed quickly.
